[Kehidupan] Anak Wajib Mentaati Ibu Bapa Yang Bermaksiat — Reblog from muslimcambodiablog

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BILA ORANG TUA BERBBUAT MAKSIAT. APA YANG HARUS DILAKUKAN ANAK?

Terkadang seorang anak harus menghadapi orang tua yang belum mengerti tentang ajaran Islam. Sebagai akibatnya, ia harus menyaksikan orang yang sangat ia cintai dan hormati melakukan perbuatan maksiat atau menghalang-halangi si anak dari perbuatan amal shaleh.

I. RUANG LINGKUP PENGERTIAN BERBAKTI KEPADA ORANG TUA

Pengertian birrul wâlidain (berbakti kepada kedua orang tua) ialah mencurahkan seluruh jenis kebaikan bagi mereka. Syaikh al-’Utsaimîn rahimahullâh memaparkannya dalam bentuk-bentuk berikut ini:

1. Berbakti kepada orang tua dalam bentuk ucapan.
Allâh Ta’âla berfirman:

إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

“….. Jika salah seorang di antara keduanya atau kedua-duanya sampai berumur lanjut dalam pemeliharaanmu, maka sekali-kali janganlah kamu mengatakan kepada keduanya perkataan “Ah” dan janganlah kamu membentak mereka. Ucapkanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia” [Al-Isrâ`/17:23]

Ini perlakuan saat orang tua telah berusia uzur. Biasanya ketika telah memasuki usia senja (pikun), tindak-tanduk orang tua tampak tidak normal di hadapan orang lain. Walaupun demikian, Allâh Azza wa Jalla memerintahkan:

“maka sekali-kali janganlah kamu mengatakan kepada keduanya perkataan ‘Ah’)”, maksudnya jangan berbuat seperti itu kepada mereka disebabkan kegusaran atas tindak-tanduk mereka (dan janganlah kamu membentak mereka dan ucapkanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia).

2. Bakti kepada orang tua juga dalam bentuk perbuatan,

yaitu dengan cara seorang anak menghinakan diri di hadapan orang tuanya, dan tunduk patuh kepada mereka dengan cara-cara yang dibenarkan syariat dalam rangka menghormati kedudukan mereka. Allâh Azza wa Jalla berfirman:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“Dan rendahkanlah dirimu terhadap mereka berdua dengan penuh kesayangan dan ucapkanlah: “Wahai Rabbku, kasihilah mereka keduanya, sebagaimana mereka berdua telah mendidik aku waktu kecil”” [Al-Isrâ`/17:24]

3. Berbakti juga dapat dilakukan dengan pemberian materi kepada orang tua.

Orang tua berhak memperoleh infak dari anaknya. Bahkan ini termasuk bentuk infak yang agung. Sebab Rasûlullâh shallallâhu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda:

أَنْتَ وَمَالُكَ لِأَبِيْكَ

” Engkau dan kekayaanmu adalah milik bapakmu” [HR. Abu Dâwud no. 3530, Ibnu Mâjah no. 2292]

4. Bentuk bakti kepada orang tua yang lain, dengan melayani mereka dalam menyelesaikan atau membantu urusan maupun pekerjaan mereka.

Namun bila meminta tolong dalam perkara yang diharamkan, saat itu tidak boleh bagi anak untuk menyambut permintaan mereka. Justru, penolakannya menjadi cermin bakti anak kepada orang tua, berdasarkan sabda Rasûlullâh shallallâhu ‘alaihi wa sallam :

انْصُرْ أَخَاكَ ظَالِـمًا أَوْ مَظْلُومًا قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ هَذَا نَنْصُرُهُ مَظْلُومًا فَكَيْفَ نَنْصُرُهُ ظَالِـمًا قَالَ تَـمْنَعُهُ مِنَ الظُّلْمِ

“Tolonglah saudaramu saat berbuat zhalim atau teraniaya. Rasûlullâh shallallâhu ‘alaihi wa sallam ditanya:

“Wahai Rasulullah, kalau menolong orang yang teraniaya kami sudah mengerti, bagaimana dengan menolong saudara yang berbuat zhalim?” Beliau shallallâhu ‘alaihi wa sallam menjawab: “Dengan menghalang-halanginya berbuat zhalim”. [HR Al-Bukhâri, Muslim dan Ahmad]

Misalnya, orang tua memerintahkan membeli sesuatu yang diharamkan, kemudian si anak menolaknya. Anak ini tidak disebut sebagai anak durhaka, akan tetapi merupakan putra yang berbakti kepada orang tuanya, karena telah menahan orang tuanya dari berbuat yang haram.[1]

II. TELADAN YANG BAIK DARI NABI IBRAHIM ‘ALAIHISSALAM

Allâh Azza wa Jalla sudah menyatakan bahwa Nabi Ibrâhîm ‘alaihissalam merupakan qudwah hasanah (teladan yang baik) bagi umat manusia. Sebagai contoh, kegelisahan mendalam yang beliau rasakan karena sang bapak (Azar), masih bergelut dengan penyembahan berhala dan patung-patung.

Tiada kata putus asa bagi Nabi Ibrâhîm ‘alaihissalam. Allah Ta’ala telah berfirman (mengisahkan) di beberapa surat di dalam al-Qur‘ân bagaimana besarnya sopan-santun dan kegigihan beliau mendakwahi orang tua.

Yang menarik dan mesti ditiru oleh seorang anak saat menghadapi perbuatan maksiat orang tua mereka adalah Nabi Ibrâhîm ‘alaihissalam selalu menghiasi diri dengan sifat al-hilm (bijak dan penuh kelembutan) seperti tertera dalam surat at-Taubah ayat 114.

Allâh Azza wa Jalla berfirman:

إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ لَأَوَّاهٌ حَلِيمٌ

“Sesungguhnya Ibrâhîm adalah seorang yang sangat lembut hatinya lagi penyantun” [At-Taubah/9:114]

Beliau ‘alaihissalam mempunyai kasih-sayang terhadap sesama, dan memaafkan perlakuan-perlakuan tidak baik kepadanya yang muncul dari orang lain. Sikap tidak sopan orang lain tidak membuat beliau antipati, tidak menyikapi orang jahat dengan tindakan serupa.

Dalam hal ini, sang bapak telah mengancam dengan berkata kepadanya: “Bencikah kamu kepada ilâh-ilâhku (tuhan-tuhanku), hai Ibrâhîm. Jika kamu tidak berhenti, maka niscaya kamu akan kurajam, dan tinggalkanlah aku buat waktu yang lama”.

Namun Nabi Ibrâhîm ‘alaihissalam menyikapinya dengan berkata: “Semoga keselamatan dilimpahkan kepadamu, aku akan meminta ampun bagimu kepada Rabbku. Sesungguhnya Dia sangat baik kepadaku”. [Maryam/19:46-47]

Syaikh as-Sa’di rahimahullâh berkata: “Ibrâhîm al-Khalîl ‘alaihissalam menjawabnya (ancaman si ayah) dengan jawaban yang biasa disampaikan oleh hamba-hamba Allâh Azza wa Jalla (’Ibâdurrahmân) saat berbicara dengan orang-orang jâhilîn (orang-orang yang tak berilmu/awam)[2].

Beliau tidak mencela sang bapak sedikit pun. Namun tetap bersabar dan tidak membalas (ancaman) bapaknya dengan hal-hal yang tidak baik. Beliau mengucapkan “Semoga keselamatan dilimpahkan kepadamu” yang mengandung pengertian ‘Wahai ayah, engkau tidak akan menghadapi cemoohan, celaan dan perlakuan yang buruk dariku saat aku berbicara denganmu. Justru aku akan senantiasa berdoa kepada Allâh Azza wa Jalla agar memberikan hidayah dan ampunan bagimu…[3]

III. BERCERMIN PADA PETUNJUK ULAMA

Bagaimanapun ketika orang tua berbuat pelanggaran syariat, anak tidak boleh berdiam diri. Ia berkewajiban merubahnya, supaya orang yang ia kasihi tersebut tidak terjerumus dalam kenistaan di jurang maksiat kepada Allâh Ta’âla, namun tidak boleh menempuh cara-cara yang justru langsung memutus tali silaturahmi dengan mereka.

Berikut ini kami kutip beberapa keterangan Ulama yang berbicara bagaimana menyikapi orang tua yang berbuat maksiat. Dengan harapan, kita sekalian dapat mengambil langkah yang tepat saat menghadapi persoalan-persoalan serupa :

A. Bapakku melakukan pelanggaran syariat.
Syaikh ‘Abdul ‘Azîz bin Bâz rahimahullâh menjawab kegamangan seorang anak atas tindakan maksiat yang ia lihat pada bapaknya.

Beliau berkata:
“Semoga Allâh Azza wa Jalla memberi hidayah dan kemauan bertaubat bagi bapakmu. Kami berpesan agar engkau tetap berlaku lembut kepadanya dan menasehatinya dengan cara halus, tidak pernah putus asa dalam rangka menunjukkannya kepada hidayah.

Allâh Azza wa Jalla berfirman :

“Dan Kami perintahkan kepada manusia (berbuat baik) kepada dua orang ibu bapaknya; ibunya telah mengandungnya dalam keadaan lemah yang bertambah-tambah, dan menyapihnya dalam dua tahun. Bersyukurlah kepada-Ku dan kepada dua orang ibu bapakmu, hanya kepada-Kulah kembalimu. Dan jika keduanya memaksamu untuk mempersekutukan dengan Aku sesuatu yang tidak ada pengetahuanmu tentang itu, maka janganlah kamu mengikuti keduanya, dan pergaulilah keduanya di dunia dengan baik, dan ikutilah jalan orang yang kembali kepada-Ku, kemudian hanya kepada-Ku lah kembalimu, maka Ku-beritakan kepadamu apa yang telah kamu kerjakan” [Luqmân/ 31:14-15]

(Pada ayat di atas) Allâh Azza wa Jalla berwasiat supaya mensyukuri kedua orang tua. Perintah ini ternyata dipadukan dengan perintah bersyukur kepada-Nya. Ayat itu juga memerintahkan anak agar mempergauli mereka di dunia ini dengan cara-cara yang baik, kendatipun mereka memaksa berbuat kufur.

Melalui ayat di atas, engkau tahu bahwa sikap yang diperintahkan syariat dalam kondisi ini (memaksa anak berbuat kufur, red) adalah agar seorang anak tetap menjalin hubungan dengan orang tua dengan cara-cara yang baik, berbuat baik kepada mereka meski mereka berbuat jelek kepadanya, serta gigih mengajak mereka kepada kebenaran. Semoga Allâh Azza wa Jalla memberi hidayah baginya melalui tanganmu. Engkau tidak boleh menaatinya dalam kemaksiatan.

Kami juga berpesan setelah memohon pertolongan kepada Allâh Azza wa Jalla, supaya engkau juga meminta bantuan orang-orang shaleh dari kalangan kerabatmu dan paman-pamanmu dan pihak lainnya, yaitu orang-orang yang sangat dihormati dan dimuliakan oleh ayah. Mungkin saja, beliau akan lebih mudah menerima nasehat mereka….”.[4]

B. Ibuku melarangku mengenakan hijâb (cadar)
Seorang Muslimah mengadukan ibunya yang melarang dirinya mengenakan cadar kepada Syaikh Bin Baz rahimahullâh. Sebaliknya, justru memerintahkan anak untuk menikmati bioskop dan video. Alasan si ibu, agar rambut putrinya tidak cepat memutih. Demikian pernyataan sang ibu kepada anak perempuannya.

Menanggapi persoalan ini, Syaikh Bin Bâz rahimahullâh menjawab:
“Kamu berkewajiban bersikap lembut dengan ibu dan tetap berbuat baik kepada beliau, serta berbicara dengan cara yang terbaik. Sebab, hak ibu sangat besar. Akan tetapi, engkau tidak boleh taat kepadanya dalam perkara-perkara yang tidak baik, berdasarkan hadits Rasûlullâh shallallâhu ‘alaihi wa sallam :

إنَّـمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِـيْ الْـمَعْرُوفِ

“Ketaatan (kepada makhluk) hanya pada perkara-perkara baik saja”

Begitu pula, ayah dan suami, tidak wajib ditaati dalam maksiat kepada Allâh Azza wa Jalla. Akan tetapi, seyogyanya istri atau anak dan lainnya bersikap lembut dan menempuh cara yang baik dalam menyelesaikan masalah.

Yaitu dengan menjelaskan dalil-dalil syar’i, wajibnya taat kepada Allâh Azza wa Jalla dan Rasul-Nya, dan kewajiban menghindari maksiat kepada Allah Azza wa Jalla dan Rasul-Nya, dengan tetap teguh berpegangan al-haq dan menampik perintah orang yang menyuruh melanggar al-haq, baik itu suami, ayah, ibu atau lainnya.

Sebenarnya tidak masalah menonton acara TV dan video yang tidak mengandung kemungkaran, atau mendengarkan acara-acara ilmiah dan kajian-kajian yang bermanfaat. Yang harus dihindari ialah acara yang mengandung kemungkaran. Menonton film-film pun tidak boleh karena mengandung banyak kebatilan.”[5]

C. Ibuku marah ketika aku ingatkan dari kesalahan
Seorang anak menyaksikan ibunya tidak istiqamah. Setiap kali menasehati, kemarahanlah yang muncul dari beliau. Akibatnya selama beberapa hari si ibu enggan berbicara dengan anaknya.

Persoalan yang ditanyakan adalah cara menasehati ibu, tanpa menimbulkan amarahnya dan kemurkaan Allâh Azza wa Jalla. Sebab, ternyata sang ibu saking marahnya sempat mendoakan kejelekan bagi anak yang menasehatinya. Apakah dibenarkan ia membiarkan ibunya dalam keadaan demikian, hingga tetap disayang oleh ibu?

Syaikh ‘Abdullâh bin ‘Abdur Rahmân al-Jibrîn hafizhahullâh menjawab kegundahan di atas dengan berkata: “Engkau tetap menasehati ibumu terus-menerus, dan menjelaskan dosa dan bahaya akibat perbuatannya.

Jika tidak berpengaruh baik, cobalah sampaikan kepada suaminya (bapakmu atau lelaki yang menjadi suaminya karena sudah cerai dari ayah, red), orang tua ibu atau walinya, agar mereka inilah yang menasehati beliau.

Jika perbuatan beliau termasuk dosa besar, tidak mengapa bila engkau menghajr (tidak mengajak bicara) beliau.

Sehubungan dengan doa buruk atau komentar miring terhadapmu anak yang durhaka atau memutuskan tali silaturahmi maka hal itu tidak membahayakanmu. Sebab engkau melakukannya (menasehati ibu, red) karena dorongan rasa tidak suka bila hukum Allâh Ta’âla dilanggar.

Namun apabila kesalahan beliau termasuk dosa kecil, engkau tidak boleh melakukan muqâtha’ah (mendiamkan beliau)”[6]


IV. KESIMPULAN DARI FATWA-FATWA DI ATAS

Beberapa fatwa Ulama di atas telah memberikan petunjuk bagi siapa saja yang ingin menasehati orang tuanya yang berbuat kesalahan. Dari fatwa-fatwa itu, dapat disimpulkan bahwa :

1. Menasehati orang tua harus dengan lemah-lembut.
2. Terkadang diperlukan pihak lain untuk melakukan nahi mungkar.
3. Melarang orang tua dari perbuatan haram atau menolak perintah orang tua yang memerintahkan berbuat haram termasuk bakti kepada orang tua.
4. Tidak boleh putus asa dalam rangka meluruskan orang tua menuju hidayah.
5. Bila diperlukan, tidak mengajak bicara dengan orang tua termasuk langkah untuk menyadarkan orang tua yang berbuat salah.

Semoga Allâh Azza wa Jalla memberikan karunia hidayah dan taufik bagi setiap keluarga Muslim dalam menjalankan aturan Allâh Azza wa Jalla di tengah keluarga. Amin. (Redaksi)


Referensi:
-Taisirul Karimir Rahman, Syaikh as-Sa’di, Muassasah Risalah
– Fatawa Ulama Baladil Haram, susunan Khalid bin Abdur-Rahman al-Juraisi cet.1 Th. 1420H
– Fatawa Mar’atil Muslimah, susunan Asyraf bin Abdulmaqshud. Adhwaus Salaf, cet. III Th. 1417H
-Majmu Fatawa Ibni Baz. Muassasah Haramain. cet. IV Th 1423H

[Disalin dari majalah As-Sunnah Edisi 01/Tahun XIII/1430/2009M. Penerbit Yayasan Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Jl. Solo-Purwodadi Km.8 Selokaton Gondangrejo Solo 57183 Telp. 0271-858197 Fax 0271-858196]
_____


Footnote
[1]. Fatâwâ Syaikh al-’Utsaimîn, nukilan dari Fatâwâ Ulamâ Baladil Harâm hlm. 1631
[2]. Seperti tertera dalam surat al-Furqân ayat: 63
[3]. Taisîrul Karîmir Rahmân hlm. 369 dan 528. Pada gilirannya, Nabi Ibrâhîm ‘alaihissalam dilarang oleh Allâh Ta’âla memintakan ampunan bagi bapaknya, karena telah memperoleh kepastian akan kesesatannya.
[4]. Majmû Fatâwâ Ibni Bâz 9/313 dengan ringkas
[5]. Majmû‘ Fatâwâ Ibni Bâz (5/358)
[6]. Fatâwal Mar‘ah hlm. 104, nukilan dari Fatâwal Mar‘atil Muslimah hlm. 957-958

https://almanhaj.or.id/2185-bila-orang-tua-berbuat-maksiat-apa-yang-harus-dilakukan-anak.html

DIANTARA SEBAB SEMPITNYA HATI DALAM RUMAH

✍🏻 Dari Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu berkata;

🌺 “Sesungguhnya rumah itu akan terasa lapang bagi penghuninya, akan didatangi para malaikat, akan dijauhi syaithan dan akan banyak kebaikannya: Tatkala dibacakan di dalamnya Al-Qur’an.

🔥 Dan sesungguhnya rumah itu akan terasa sempit bagi penghuninya, akan dijauhi malaikat, akan didatangi oleh syaithan dan sedikit barakahnya: Tatkala tidak dibacakan Al-Quran di dalamnya. [Shahih Sunan Ad-Darimi]

————————-

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضي الله عنه قَالَ :

“إِنَّ الْبَيْتَ لَيَتَّسِعُ عَلَى أَهْلِه ، وَتَحْضُرُهُ الْمَلَائكة ، وَتَهْجُرُهُ الشَّيَاطِينُ، وَيَكْثُرُ خَيْرُه : أَنْ يُقْرَأَ فِيهِ الْقُرْآنُ.

•• وَإِنَّ الْبَيْتَ لَيَضِيقُ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ ،وَتَهْجُرُهُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ، وَتَحْضُرُهُ الشَّيَاطِينُ، وَيَقِلُّ خَيْرُهُ :أَنْ لَا يُقْرَأَ فِيهِ الْقُرْآنُ”.

📝[صحيح ، سنن الدارميّ (٣٣٥٢)].

📚 Sumber || t.me/munhaj_alssilf_alssalih

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artikel asal ditulis oleh: https://muslimcambodiablog.wordpress.com/2018/02/01/anak-wajib-mentaati-ibu-bapa-yang-bermaksiat/

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